Sometimes the hardest position is to be a bystander watching the person you care for struggle. While you know there is nothing you can do to ease the heartache, you still wish you had the right words to say, the perfect-sized band aide to heal the wound, the ability to make the pain cease.

When I face these situations now, I try to remember my own journey. What helped me the most were the simple things: a “thinking of you” card, a “just checking in on you” phone call or an “I am here for you” email. All I needed to know was that I had someone who would stand by me; someone who would encourage me to hold onto hope and believe in brighter days … someone who I could lean on when I lost my way, my will or my strength.

To those who feel helpless as a caregiver or friend, just know that being you is making a world of a difference. Your support, love and genuine concern are appreciated. While I know you want to move mountains and fix everything, remember the greatest gift you can give is being present.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

            Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”