Nicole Hemmenway's Blog of Hope & Healing

Glimmer of Hope

Nicole Hemmenway — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 02:02:20 GMT

Every once in awhile, in the midst of the chaos, a day arrives that allows us to believe brighter days are ahead. It is as if we receive the gift of hope: a reminder that the storm will pass. While the light at the end of the tunnel may still be dim, it is visible.

Yesterday was such a day for me. After weeks of wondering if I ever would be able to manage my new life, hope for my future returned. I was able to work for five hours. Although I had wanted to accomplish more than I did and I never got out of my pajamas, I am grateful for the baby steps. I finally think that more productive days may be attainable again … and that is a relief.

It is moments like yesterday that make it possible for me to keep moving forward. My wish is for you to find your own glimmer of hope in your life … to see that nothing is impossible.

I am sending healing wishes. Remember that you are strong, brave and courageous.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Peaceful Rain

Nicole Hemmenway — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:09:52 GMT

Today is the first day of rain that meteorologists predict will last a week. While I enjoyed the sunshine days Northern California recently had, I find myself liking the change. I already know I am going to miss my daily outdoor walks, but I find listening to the rain gently tap the windows calming and therapeutic.

As I type, the house is unusually quiet. I am taking advantage of these few minutes alone with my thoughts. The beautiful pink orchid on my desk makes me smile. As I take deep breaths, I feel the built-up tension in my shoulders release. In this moment, I can say, “life is good.”

It amazes me how the simplest things make me happy. After a week of feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, I am so grateful for right now. It is as if I have been recharged. Now I am ready to tackle whatever comes my way again.

My wish for you is that you can also appreciate those mundane moments that bring clarity and balance back to your life.

I am sending healing thoughts to you all. May you continue to hold onto hope as well as remember that your story inspires many.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Finding Calm in the Midst of Chaos

Nicole Hemmenway — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 21:41:07 GMT

I was talking with a dear friend yesterday afternoon who just had a baby. This should be the happiest moment in her life yet external issues seem to weigh heavily on her mind. Because it saddens her that she has let outside chaos cast a shadow on this magical gift, she is now searching for calm and tranquility. My friend is determined to let go of the pain so she can truly enjoy her wonderful, adorable baby boy.

I found myself able to relate to her frustration and woes. Stress is a part of our lives. We may be struggling to juggle a busy schedule, cope with loss, deal with health issues or mend complicated relationships. It may be feeling pressured at work, overwhelmed by the future or depressed by our current life situation. We may even feel stuck, lost or alone. It does not matter what type of stresses we face. Stress is stress, and it can block us from moving forward.

I invite you to think about these questions. My wish is that through your answers to the posed questions, you are better able to find balance and joy in the midst of chaos. I hope we all choose to look at those light moments in our lives instead of placing all our energy on the dark times.

How do you move past the stress in order to be happy?

How do you let go of issues you cannot control?

I am sending healing wishes. Continue to hold onto hope. Happy Sunday!

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Time

Nicole Hemmenway — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:59:50 GMT

It does not matter how fast I move, there are just not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish everything I set out to do. Since Will has arrived, this fact has become even more apparent. I now have to learn to take the day as it comes.

This is hard for a Type-A person like me. I like to make goals and conquer them. In fact, it causes me anxiety when tasks are hovering over me. I stress when I feel unable to be impeccable with my word, when I make a commitment that I then realize I cannot keep. While I know I cannot do it all, I wish I could. I still wish I could be Wonder Woman.

The past nine weeks have challenged me to let go, be free and truly live each moment as it comes. I often find myself thinking of the old Yiddish proverb, “We plan, God laughs.” I see that I must readjust my way of thinking and acting. While I can have grand plans of what I want to tackle each morning, it may not happen. Most likely, three-quarters of my “to-do list” will not be achieved … and I have to be okay with that.

At the end of the day, no one will remember if I had vacuumed or made the bed. Nobody will hold it over me that it took me an extra week or two to find my groove returning to work. When it comes down to it, what others will remember is my character – if I made time for those I love, if I laughed, if I lived joyfully despite the challenges and setbacks I faced.

To those who feel overwhelmed by the daily trials of life, you are not alone. My wish is for you to be kind to yourself and make time for what really matters. Do not let special moments pass you by because of silly, unimportant, self-imposed obligations.

I am sending healing wishes. Keep holding onto hope and believing in the unimaginable.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Moments

Nicole Hemmenway — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 17:57:51 GMT

Today is my grandfather’s ninetieth birthday. For over sixty-five years, he and my grandmother have been living a magical life together. Both of them are healthy, happy and truly blessed. This does not mean that they have not struggled. Like all of us, they each have experienced difficult times through their childhood, young adult and married life. Yet those trials only made them more appreciative of the gifts they have been given.

While my family celebrates my grandfather today, I am reminded of Hilary Cooper and her quote, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” Not all of us will be as fortunate as my Nonno to reach such a milestone number. However, each of us has the opportunity to make every day count. We all can choose to embrace those special moments in our lives.

I understand living with pain makes it hard to find or accept happiness. Yet we must, as it is so important for our psyche and spirit. I remember when I first began placing my intention on finding a good moment in each day. It was in the midst of my pain journey when I had no use of my right arm or hand and minimal use of the rest of my body.

I was astounded how becoming more aware of my world could change me. Soon I realized I experienced numerous moments every day that brought me some form of joy, balance or love. Most often, it was a fleeting emotion. Yet I still felt something: I was still able to acknowledge hope in better days existed.

I encourage all of you to look at this day differently. Do not judge it by the number of breaths you take but by the moments (or moment) that take your breath away. My wish is for all of us to find a way to live a life of gratitude, just as my grandparents have. Look for those moments that bring light into your world.

I am thinking of you all and sending healing wishes into the Universe. Remember you are not alone on your journey. You are so very strong…

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

A New Year, A New Love, A New Way of Looking at Life

Nicole Hemmenway — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:27:32 GMT

Last year, my New Year’s resolution was to find balance in my life. I wanted to make sure I was present in the moment, and embrace all experiences I had coming my way. It was going to be a year of self-discovery and self-care.

Set on doing one thing a day that brought me joy and fulfillment, I wanted to be mindful of activities that brought light into my world. My goal was to be able to say on December 31, 2011 that I lived compassionately, honestly, happily. I wanted to find me, make myself a priority and feel alive.

I really did not know how much 2011 would change my life.

I began the year with a renewed sense of self and purpose. The first four months I did something that I enjoyed each day. Whether it was taking the dogs for a walk, getting a coffee, reading or going to sunrise yoga, I consciously reminded myself during the activity that this was “for me.” This special time of the day was to rejuvenate my spirit and center me. I loved it. I looked forward to my simple pleasure, and I never felt guilty for taking time for myself.

Then at the end of April, my husband and I found out we were having a baby. It was the greatest news. We both could not wait for our little one to arrive, and I had grand plans of how the pregnancy would go. I believed I would continue my yoga practice as well as my other workout routine and eating plan. Little did I know that my body had other things in store for me!

Within the first few weeks, morning sickness, exhaustion and food aversions took over my life. Then I faced months of modified bed rest. It was an emotional roller coaster ride with such high highs and downright low lows. Thankfully, everything I experienced was solely pregnancy-related. For nine months, my pain and symptoms never flared.

As the year neared an end, I became more uncomfortable and anxious for our little one to arrive. The unexpected issues throughout my pregnancy had taken a toll on me emotionally. Once I reached thirty-six weeks and was out of the worry zone, I wanted him to be here. Yet he had other plans! After two long, fearful months thinking he would be pre-term, William (Will) Owen arrived January 3 … four days after his due date!

This weekend we celebrated Will’s two-month birthday. I cannot believe how fast time has passed. It seems like yesterday we were walking into the hospital, and now he is smiling, cooing and reaching for objects. I am in awe of him, just as I was the day he was born. He is absolutely perfect. Will has completely changed and affirmed my life. Every day with him is a new adventure, a new milestone, a new joyful memory. To be able to experience life through him has been incredible, and I am so excited to see what the year ahead has in store.

While 2012 is no doubt all about Will, I am also committed to redefining who I am. I have now added another label to my repertoire: mom. As I know motherhood will always be the most important job and title I hold, I also know it cannot become all of me. I must find a way to manage the greatest gift in my life with living my truth.

Therefore, my resolution this year is finding that happy balance between enjoying every moment with my precious love and keeping my own identity. I have to continue being who I am as an individual in order to be the best person, wife, mom, friend, co-worker possible. This means remembering to put myself on the list. Despite wanting to spend every waking moment with Will, I also have to remember to care for myself. I must strive to live a balanced, gratitude-filled life as I embrace this magical journey.

What wishes do you have for yourself for 2012?

Continue to live each day as fully as possible, believe in the unimaginable and know you are not alone.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Controlling What I Can

Nicole Hemmenway — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 01:02:49 GMT

I realize I have little say in many life matters. Right now, that is apparent in not knowing when Baby will arrive. In the past, I faced this dealing with the unknowns and fears of pain. Regardless of the circumstance, I am not in control. Because I cannot change certain aspects in my life, it is that much more important for me to learn techniques that give me a sense of peace, purpose and balance. I must see that I do have power over the way I respond.

The past few days I have spent focusing inward, finding ways to handle my current situation. In order to move forward without stress or anxiety, I am reinventing a new “me.” A "me" that is grateful for little things in my days, a "me" that can acknowledge fears while staying positive, a "me" that is hopeful and content.

I am pulling out old meditation CDs to relax the mind, body and spirit. I am thinking about what I eat to make sure I only feed myself healing foods. I am lighting more candles while envisioning how I want the next two months to unfold. I am connecting with spiritual coaches to help clear hindering beliefs so I can find serenity.

In a nutshell, I am living life by my rules. I making sure to do things that make me happy and calm which will therefore prepare me for whatever life has in store for me.

To those who also currently feel life is spinning out of control, I hope you too can find some good in your day. Continue to look for those answers, believe in the unimaginable and trust that better times are ahead.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Breakthrough

Nicole Hemmenway — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:04:10 GMT

I am amazed how different situations cause similar emotions. Over the past eight months, I have found myself holding back in my blogs – not because I felt I had to hide what was happening in my life, but rather because I felt pregnancy did not correlate with my journey with pain. I know now that I was wrong. I now see that everything in my life intertwines, somehow circling back to my experiences with pain.

This newfound recognition may not have happened without Rick. During the weekend, he kept encouraging to write. He reminded me that most of the issues I am working through are similar to what I dealt with during the darkest days of my pain journey. While life may focus on “Baby” and his arrival, the way I accept, cope and overcome the fears and sensations are connected.

Each of us encounters pain and struggle. While we might not all be physically crippled by the excruciating agony, most of us find pain paralyzes a part of our lives. Whether we retreat, harbor anger or become depressed, pain has the power to crush our dreams and diminish our light. It can easily control us.

I guess what I am trying to convey is that while I may not be in the depths of a chronic pain episode, I am in the midst of a challenging experience causing vulnerability and fear to resurface. I am again dealing with the “what ifs” and the terrifying unpredictability of the unknown. Just as everyone dealing with pain knows, stress exacerbates the situation. These past few weeks have definitely shown me how stress is personally affecting me. It has been a daily priority for me to be conscious of breathing, relaxing and letting go as I endure more physical pain (RSD and pregnancy-related), sleepless nights and anxiety.

To those who feel weighted down by personal circumstances, you are not alone. Life is full of challenges. Yet I believe it is because of such obstacles that we find ourselves. Although pain took much from me, it gave me back much in return. Due to pain, I learned to trust, believe, hope and have faith in myself. I found true meaning in life. I recognize my inner-strength and am no longer ashamed to embrace my survivor-mentality; a characteristic that I believe is within us all.

Therefore, while this moment may seem uncertain I know in my heart all is in divine order. I just need to release the self-defeating and self-sabotaging thoughts so I can focus on peace and healing. Everything will be okay … tomorrow is a new day with new hope and possibility.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Wanting to Fix while Remembering to Just Be

Nicole Hemmenway — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:05:15 GMT

Sometimes the hardest position is to be a bystander watching the person you care for struggle. While you know there is nothing you can do to ease the heartache, you still wish you had the right words to say, the perfect-sized band aide to heal the wound, the ability to make the pain cease.

When I face these situations now, I try to remember my own journey. What helped me the most were the simple things: a “thinking of you” card, a “just checking in on you” phone call or an “I am here for you” email. All I needed to know was that I had someone who would stand by me; someone who would encourage me to hold onto hope and believe in brighter days … someone who I could lean on when I lost my way, my will or my strength.

To those who feel helpless as a caregiver or friend, just know that being you is making a world of a difference. Your support, love and genuine concern are appreciated. While I know you want to move mountains and fix everything, remember the greatest gift you can give is being present.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Crazed

Nicole Hemmenway — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:14:44 GMT

Today has not been the greatest for me. After two nights of minimal sleep, exhaustion has gotten the best of me. My thoughts are scattered, my body aches and my emotions are all over the place. I have found myself crying for no apparent reason; unable to calm down only frustrates me more causing me to laugh and sob at the same time. What can I say … it is just one of those “funk” days.

I am sure most can relate. Sleep-deprivation is a serious condition affecting many people in the pain community and beyond. In my opinion, I believe adequate rest is one of the most important factors to keeping us mentally and physically fit. Without sleep, it is impossible to function at the level we need to in order to deal with life.

While I am a bit crazed with self-defeating and self-loathing thoughts right now, I recognize that I am just overly tired. I know I am okay. All I need to feel stronger and happier again is a good’s night sleep.

Until that happens, I am trying to stay positive and relaxed. I cancelled my afternoon appointments to avoid stress (or a public meltdown!) and instead went on a walk with Rick and the dogs. I am focusing on doing things that may bring me peace or boost my spirits. Most importantly, I am taking deep breaths as I remind myself that this will pass.

For those dealing with insomnia, my thoughts are with you. My universal intention this evening is that we all receive a better night’s rest. Hang in there, know you are not alone and keep believing in brighter days.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Finding Time for a Daily Mini-Getaway

Nicole Hemmenway — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:48:55 GMT

After receiving an email this afternoon from a friend telling me about her mini-vacation this past weekend, I began thinking that we all need a mini-getaway. Each of us needs an escape from the daily trials we face.

As you know from personal experience, life is short. Yet even though we realize this, we too often allow minute things to bog us down. We give power to forces outside of our control and to instances that serve no purpose. Sadly, we become so involved in the hustle and bustle of life that we overlook those simple moments that bring us joy. It is as if we forget that in one second everything we planned, dreamed or hoped for can change.

I know it is not possible for any of us to take off on a relaxing or rejuvenating excursion a few days each week. Therefore, we must create our own “mini-getaway.” For me, I view walks with my dogs as a time to let go of the stresses of the day. I attend yoga to reconnect my mind, body and spirit. I even treat myself to a decaf soy latte or a spa pedicure sometimes. I do things that are not over-the-top but still make me feel good and special.

It is my hope that each of us can begin to live every day to its fullest. My wish is for us all to find happiness and meaning, that we recognize the value of taking care of ourselves. After all, it is through “mini-getaways” that we are able to continue forward with our journeys … holding onto hope and believing in the unimaginable.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Finding A New Routine

Nicole Hemmenway — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:43:38 GMT

Last night I attended a prenatal yoga class. This was the first time I had done yoga since April, and I was a bit nervous. As some of you may remember, I became interested in this practice earlier this year. It was part of my New Year’s Resolution of making time for me and finding balance in my life.

Entering the studio was intimidating for me. I wanted to be a rock-star. I wanted to be able to do every pose my peers were doing, and leave the class feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. Yet knowing it had been seven months since I had done a downward-facing dog, tree or warrior pose caused me anxiety.

Thankfully, the instructor was kind and comforting. She emphasized that each of us were on different journeys, and therefore, we had to go at our pace. In her mind, prenatal yoga is just as much about listening to your body signals as it is about connecting with your baby and learning to move in comfortable ways.

I quickly felt at ease within the group. There were movements I could not fully complete, but that was fine with me. I trusted that my body knew best. I breathed and allowed myself to let go of judgment. I was present in the moment, and it felt good.

I left yoga feeling calm, collected and centered. With such a positive response, I have decided to add this practice to my weekly routine. One night a week, I will do this for me. This will be my time to bond with baby and reconnect with myself.

My wish is for each of you to find that one activity that makes you feel whole and unstoppable. I think it is so important that we take care of ourselves and do things that create inner-harmony and peace. Have a good night!

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

You Have To Trust

Nicole Hemmenway — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:18:53 GMT

It has been over a decade since I began looking “outside the box” for answers to help me along my pain journey. I am so grateful that I did. Opening up to the wonders and powers of the Universe fundamentally changed my life.

Not only did I find my authentic self, but I also discovered my strength, courage and resilience. I soon realized pain did not define me. Free of feeling pigeonholed by a label, I became empowered and vocal. I began trusting my instincts. As I listened to my body, I saw that I held the key to my healing. I could make a difference in my own life.

This afternoon I came across a quote from Benjamin Spock that I wanted to share with you. I hope it helps you begin to believe in yourself. Remember that you are strong and courageous. Hold onto hope and follow your dreams. I am thinking of each of you and sending healing wishes.

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." –Benjamin Spock

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Signs

Nicole Hemmenway — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:43:07 GMT

Today I am still trying to let go of wanted outcomes. This is hard to do when so much is riding on what will be. Yet I know I can handle anything. I might not feel strong in this moment, but I do know I possess the strength, willpower and resilience to overcome any obstacle I might face.

It still amazes me how the Universe provides just when I need it to the most. The past twenty-four hours I have received many signs assuring me that I will make it through this new hurdle. From my aunt’s text message reminding me of the power that comes from “surrendering to the unknown” to emails showering me with love and support, I see that I am not alone.

Another sign came in the form of a song: Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.” Immediately, I knew that a glorious angel from above was with me. A sense of serenity flowed through my body as I listened to the lyrics. Even though the feeling was fleeting, I knew I was “in the arms of an angel” then and now.

I also received a care package in the mail today. Not only did the heartfelt present bring a smile to my face, but it also brought joy back to my life. I realized that no matter how dark a situation may seem happiness and kindness always exist. I do not want to spend my days wondering “what will be” because that just robs me of what is currently in front of me.

Each of us faces our own journeys that cause us to question, doubt, fear and worry. If we did not experience these emotions, we would not be human. With that said, I do not think it is healthy to stay stuck in that dark area. It is important for me to acknowledge my feelings of helplessness while surrounding myself with light energy. I inhale serenity while I exhale fear.

I am thinking of you and hoping each of you finds a little magic or light in the midst of the pain.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Faith, Miracles, Believing

Nicole Hemmenway — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 23:54:30 GMT

I have been preoccupied all day with things that are out of my control. While I am trying to stay calm, nothing I do seems to ease my mind or lift my spirits. The entire afternoon I have been quiet and reserved, spending my time reading or staring at the lit eucalyptus candle on my desk. I have withdrawn from the outside world.

Retreating inward is a coping mechanism of mine that helps me regain strength and find my way through whatever problem I face. Life is full of challenges and heartaches. We cannot escape them, yet we do have the power and ability to rise above and believe all will be well.

Tonight I am striving to do that. I am putting my intentions and faith toward a positive outcome. No matter what may be, I know everything will be okay. I will survive … no, I am going to make sure I thrive.

I share this with you not for sympathy, but rather to let those of you who may be feeling the same know that you are not alone. Hang in there. Continue to believe.

“I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it.”

–Oprah Winfrey

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Pumpkin

Nicole Hemmenway — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:45:15 GMT

This afternoon I went to Target to pick up a new filter for my Brita water pitcher. As I passed the home décor aisle, I became excited to see all the decorations for Halloween and Thanksgiving. My favorite time of year has arrived.

When fall approaches and the weather turns cool and rainy, I get an urge to bake. Being in the kitchen with the oven warming the house as the aroma of pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg float through the air makes me happy. For some reason, baking lifts my mood. I no longer feel discouraged or alone; all just seems right in the world.

I did not bake anything today nor will I for a few more weeks. Instead, I purchased a pumpkin-fragranced soy candle from Target to bring the spirit of the holidays to life. Looking out my front window at the pouring rain, the smell from my burning candle reminds me of my past. I am content remembering the laughs, the love, the special memories that only this time of year brings.

I am amazed a candle could bring such light and joy to my day. I hope whatever it may be in your life that sparks memories of happiness and joy brings you the same peace, clarity and serenity that my newfound candle has for me.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Feeling Stifled

Nicole Hemmenway — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:00:59 GMT

For the past few days, I have found myself staring at a blank computer screen. It seems that I cannot will words to appear in front of me. I just am unable to express my innermost thoughts.

Instead of being discouraged that I find myself blocked to my creative energies, I am focusing my efforts on being understanding. I know this does not only happen to me. Each of us has felt unable to communicate at various times; therefore, I must stay positive. I know my passion for writing will return as will my motivation. Until then, I am learning to patient.

I am sending healing wishes into the Universe. Remember you are never alone on your journeys … and continue to believe in the unimaginable. Dreams do come true.

“Be strong, go with your heart, and believe in miracles because anything…anything can happen.” –Marlo Javidando

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Big Move

Nicole Hemmenway — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 22:03:56 GMT

Today is an exciting day for me. After spending the past week organizing and rearranging our living space, I am finally writing in my new office. I am giving myself time to adjust to the changes. While I miss having my vision boards plastered on the walls around me, I am now able to look out windows and see my front yard. It is peaceful and calming to watch tree branches sway in the wind while leaves fall to the ground.

Though I never envisioned my office would look like this, this move is good for me on many levels. I have come to realize that I sometimes give too much credit to external forces instead of acknowledging my role in making things happen. My old office was a safe haven for me. It felt like home, and since I could be myself and express my innermost thoughts, I attached my ability to inspire to the physical room. By doing so, I downplayed my authentic gift to connect.

I finally see that home lies within. Sure, I need to feel comfortable in my environment. Yet more importantly, I must feel comfortable in my own skin. A room, while beautiful and full of positive energy, is just a room. What I need to do is acknowledge that I make things happen for myself. I create my own healing oasis.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I will be thinking of you and sending healing thoughts to those in need. Continue to hold onto hope, and remember we all can feel at home … once we allow ourselves to own our strengths and gifts.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

Disconnecting In Order To Get Things Done

Nicole Hemmenway — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:47:30 GMT

I know I have not written in a few days, but I wanted to let you know that I am doing well. With Baby on the way, Rick and I know we need to rearrange our current living space. To do this, we realized we needed new organizational pieces for our house. Last Thursday, I spent the afternoon with my mom shopping. I then spent the next three days disconnected from the outside world so I could focus on assembling a desk, office chair, cabinet, sideboard, coffee table and two shelving units.

While there is still much to do, I am proud of what I accomplished this weekend. Despite being able to work under pressure and multi-task, every once in awhile I find I need to direct all my energy on one job. I believe there are times in all our lives when we must pull back from the outer world in order to complete certain tasks that make us feel better. This was one of those times for me.

I did nothing but eat, sleep and organize. It was cathartic. As I look at what I was able to achieve, I feel lighter and more centered. Balance has seemed to reenter my life, and I feel good.

For those in need of some extra support, just remember you are not alone and I am thinking of you. Continue to hold onto hope. Own your strength, and see yourself as the hero and survivor that you are.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”

PS – Thanks Mom and Dad for your help!

Listening and Trusting

Nicole Hemmenway — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:51:01 GMT

For the past few weeks, I have been making it a priority to listen to my body and trust my intuition. I am in a transition stage in my life. While thrilled to begin this new chapter, it has not been completely easy.

Experiencing some challenges meant I needed to “take it easy.” For the first five months, I listened to my doctors and rested as they instructed. I did not exercise and kept my feet up as much as possible. Thankfully, my health has improved and I am able to be slightly more active. With this newfound freedom to “get up off the couch,” I find myself in a new predicament. Do I remain mostly sedentary or do I listen to my body and move?

I learned through my journey with pain how important it is for me to listen to my intuition. I know my body, and I know my limits. I know when I can push myself and when I need to stop. Therefore, I trust that I know what is best for me now.

I am moderately exercising every day in order to take care of mind, body and spirit. While I am not overdoing it, I am doing things that make me happy again.

I do not want you to misunderstand me. I never recommend going against doctors orders. With that said, my wish is that you learn to trust your gut. If something seems off, do not do it. Yet if something feels right, consult those working with you and explain your reasoning. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Believe in the power that lies within you and trust that it will lead you in the right direction.

I am sending my love and healing wishes to you.

Believing in Miracles,

Nicole Hemmenway

Author of “No, It Is NOT In My Head: The Journey of a Chronic Pain Survivor from Wheelchair to Marathon”